Feb. 7, 2013
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzSbbzYGECQ
How should i start this? hi bloggy. its been a long time since na open ulit kita... masyado kasi akong naging busy nitong mga nakaraan na araw.. Anu nanaman ang problema ko? well wala naman akong problema.. i just want to share to you all the things that happen to me right now..
HIWALAY NA KAMI NI TIN.. well she decided to break up with me, and I couldn't leave her no choice but to do what she wants.. I'd given her the freedom that she longed for and though; it sucks. yes it hurts, but I feel too numb to be hurt like before. kami pa lang kasi pinaparamdam nya na ung sakit ei parang nasanay na lang.. Ang masakit pa dito, she broke up with me with some stupid reason... well its up to her na lang. nasaktan ko man sya nuon now were even. actually mas matindi pa nga ata ang ginawa nya, i only did what I have to do as a partner, i have a right to be jealous, i have the right to be as strict as i was before and i have the right for her... ngaun i want her to be happy with her so called "FRIENDS". she already forgot about me, about us, about how close we were before all of this. pati ung pinangako nyang friendship, mananatiling salita na lang.. wala naman syang tinupad sa mga un ei. nadisappoint lng ako. Am I mad? its a big no. DISAPPOINTED yes but never did I planted grudge in her. Im already finished to the process of moving on. well a month before kaming maghiwalay I was already preparing myself, its kind of intuition. im just waiting for her to actually break up with me. on that day on wards i felt free, ung parang nakatakas ka sa isang bagay na hindi ka makakaramdam ng kunsensya na may nagawa kang mali... its her loss not mine.. i already given her the best of me.. accepted everything that she said, she did and showed me.. all the pain suddenly subsided when I hear the words na "friends na lang tayu".
masaya na ako ngaun bloggy, im here in cainta, met some friends who made me realize my worth. nakakaflatter ang mga comments na naririnig ko sa mga tao which is usually ng nangayayare sa akin.di naman sa nagmamayabang sanay na ako sa mga compliments pero iba ung dito, they actually like me kahit alam nila ang totoong pagkatao ko.. discrimation is less than zero in this place.. and i feel i belong. pero di ko pa din maiwasan ang mamiss ang manila. Kumikita ako ng pera and makakapagbayad ako ng tuition ko sa pasukan and that is all that matters to me right now.. walang love life, magaral ng mabuti and pagbutihan ang pagtatrabaho... i was able to buy what i want. enjoy myself for a while. walang stress walang problema... all i have to do is ignore her, ignore everything about her..ayaw ko ng masaktan pa ng dahil sa kanya, dahil isang beses pang maulit un pati pagkakaibigan namin iririsk ko na..
you couldnt blame me if i say stuff like this... ikaw ba naman ang ikahiya, ikaw ba naman ang pagmukhaing tanga.. ikaw ba naman ang sobrang saktan tingnan natin kung ndi mo masabi lahat ng to. lahat ng mga sinabi nya kabaliktaran ng ginagawa nya. kaya kahit anung sabihin nya sa akin.. ang hirap ng paniwalaan pa. I love her. and this time I love her as a friend na lang. i respected her decision, and if one day she came into her realization maisip nya sana na may isang taong nagmahal sa kanya ng sobra. and i hope she wouldn't regret the day na pinili nya akong mahalin... dahil ako naman kahit alam kong nakipagbalikan lang sya ng dahil sa may nagawa syang kasalanan nun hindi ko pinagsisihan na binalikan ko sya. at kahit na ikinahiya na nya ako at pinapili nya ko kung ayaw ko na sa kanya hindi ko naman pinagsisihan ung desisyon ko na mahalin pa rin sya sa pagasang mababago ko un sa kanya... but I ended up as a failure.. mas matimbang na talaga ang mga kaibigan nya nuon pa lang kesa sa akin... at wag na syang magsalita ng hindi.. dahil kahit anung sabihin nya kabaligtaran naman ang ginagawa nya... and im the type of person who doesnt care to what youll say. action is what matters not just some silly promises that at the end wouldnt be kept. sinabi nyang sinisiraan ko sya, if the truth is she's actually the one who made the reason how I was able to say all of this.. honest akong tao and she knows about that, so how come sisiraan ko sya? anung mapapala ko pag ginawa ko un... ang sinisiraan ng iimbento ka ng kwento ndi maganda tungkol sa tao na un which isnt my style... NEVER AKONG NAGIMBENTO NG KWENTO, SYA MISMO ANG NAGPAPARAMDAM NG MGA UN SA AKIN KAYA NASASABI KO... haixt tama na nga to.. at first I thought she was my everything.. but setting that aside i felt pathetic nagpakatanga ako sa taong ikakahiya lang din pala ako... basta ngaun Im happy.. happy being FREE AND SINGLE:
ayan bloggy siguro naman alam mo na ngaun. all thats left for me to do is to 100% MOVE ON..
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