Am I that stupid?
Any form of cheating is cheating.
Ginawa man o inisip, panloloko pa din un diba?
I'm trying to protect myself from getting hurt, but still I ended up getting hurt.
BUMABA TINGIN KO SA KANYA.
DO I DESERVE THIS?
She just prove me right na tama yung sinabi ko nuon.
After what happen; what she said. Naalala ko yung kwento nya dati. Na muntik ng may mangyare sa kanila ng friend nya. That's why gulong gulo ako kung muntik nga lang ba talaga o meron na. I don't know..
DAPAT BA AKO MAGTIWALA? DAPAT BA AKONG MANIWALA? Inaamin ko mahirap magtiwala ulit. At araw-araw para akong sinasaksak paulit-ulit kapag naalala ko yuung sinabi nyang "Hindi mo ko masisisi dahil babae ako at hanapin ng katawan ko yun" THAT'S BULLSHIT! Not because I'm like this it would separate me from being a GIRL!. It would be more acceptable if she just says "Babae ako kaya hindi mo ako masisisi kung lalake ang gusto ko" But then again she'll just prove me right; that she's like the rest. And everything is just about
I love her so much that's why I'd given her the chance to atone for her mistake, to make her realize had done. TAO PA RIN AKO; nagagalit, nagtatanim ng sama ng loob, hindi nakakalimot sa kasalanan at higit sa lahat nasasaktan.
Not because I say we're good, means I'm alright. I'm not ok, I'm not completely fine. Dahil hindi na kayang mawala sa isip ko yung mga sinabi nya. TANGA BA AKO? For loving her so much I had built my world around her. Sa mga salitang biinitawan nya, kasamang bumagsak duon yung mga pangarap ko kasama sya.
Could you blame me for loving her so much? trusting her so much, when for the past month she had shown me that she's worthy of my trust, SHE'S WORTHY TO HAVE ME.
And then what happen?
ALL EXPECTATIONS, LEADS TO DISAPPOINTMENTS,
I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at her actions. I'm mad at what she had done, and she didn't do.
Tama nga ata and theory ko. "WALANG TAONG KUNTENTO SA KUNG ANUNG MERON SILA".
I, Myself admit that fact. For the reality na
But that doesn't mean magpapakastraight ako. I'm happy with my choice. I'm just not happy that I could never be love in return, the same way I could love someone.
I wont be surprise if like the rest she'll leave me.
I wont be surprise if one day she'll be with some guy who could satisfy her needs.
What I'm hoping is for her to find the right guy, who could treat her the same way I could. Ayaw ko mapunta yung taong iningatan ko, minahal ko sa taong sasaktan lang sya. That wouldn't differentiate me from the rest. What I want is really the best for both of us.
Mahirap na talagang ibalik yung tiwalang nawala. So if she cheats behind my back, it's up to her. Basta ayaw ko pa din syang saktan at gawin yung mga bagay na makakasakit sa kanya. SHE'S UNFAIR YES.
But I'm not that type of person who tries to get even. I'm not that type of person to hurt someone. But when time comes, she does the same thing I wouldn't hesitate to leave.
HINDI AKO NANANAKIT, PERO HINDI AKO TANGA.
I would stay the same way; my actions, mt expressions and my behavior towards her. Not even sa trato ko sa kanya. Nothing would change. Ngingiti ako tulad ng dati, yung nakasanayan ng madami at yung nakasanayan nya. But deep inside I'm dying. behind these smiles I'm dying... slowly.. So uulitin ko, AM I THAT STUPID?
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