bye lola...we all love you...

Feb. 20, 2009...

was a sad and yet happy day...

my grandmother whos living with us died... it was the night of the crying family... hehehehe.... we all cry, we all witnessed her slow death... i was trying to be brave... but I was carried by my emotions, tears starts to fell in my eyes, i start to have dificulty in breathing...i couldnt take it more so cried...

me: La patawarin mo ako sa kasalan ko sa iyo... la salamat sa pagaalaga mo sa akin nung bata ako, kahit ang binigay ko lang sa iyo ay sakit ng ulo...la, paalam na... sana mapatawad mo ako...

in my mind I was thinking, ang pagsisi talaga ay sa huli....
my mom get close to her...

mama: nay patawarin mo ako, di man lang kita nadala sa ospital, hindi man lang kita na dala sa aklan... ni hindi man lang kita nabigyan ng masaya at tahimik na buhay...

shit, si mama ang nagsalita...wala akong magawa,hindi ko mapigil ang luha ko...
my sister said

ate swit: samantalahin nyo na, ang tantya ko hindi na aabot si lola ng umaga... hindi pa maitim ang kuko.. naiintindihan pa kayo nyan...

ate swit, was able to revive my grandmother... she was the first one I saw when lola is not breathing any more, she was saying...

ate swit: Lola bumangon ka...la... wag muna ngaun...marami pa akong gustong iibigay sayo...

may sister was crying while she was saying that...
actually before my grandmother was determined dead, my sister came home. unexpectedly...
we all know that she was staying away for her job practice for two weeks... we didnt expect that in three day she'll be home...ate mayeth ask her

ate mayeth: o...nakauwi ka na? akala ko may training ka ate...?
ate swit: ewan ko ba...bakit naisipan kong umuwi...

then after 3 hours of her arrival, my grandmother stopped breathing...

ate liza, my cousin thought that lola is better, because she stop cathing her breath...
my mom get down...

ate liz: ate... tingnan mo magaling na si lola...
mama: ano? eh hindi naman ganun kadaling gumaling yun...

then my mom start to be nervous...

they holdmy grandmothers hands and body, its still hot... but when they hold her feet its so cold...i was sleeping during that... ate mayeth came upstair and wake me up... i was deeply sleeping when she said...

ate mayeth: say wala na si lola...

my eyes wide shut, i was very shocked... i think im falling from the bed, as if someones pulling me down... i stand up jump to the other side of the bed and hurriedly run downstairs... the i saw ate swit... crying...

after a while, my grandmother stop to fight, but when mama say

mama: nay dadating pa sila tony(mama's brother) at marie(ate liza's twin)

my grandmother starts fighting again... her feet is cold and theres no response when we pinched her fingers but still theres a pulse...

then my sister came, ate grace she travelled from cavite... when they arrived they start crying specially my nephew Franz.....

then eventually we all cry.....huhuhu...

after 1 and half hour uncle tony and ate marie came....
I heard lolas voice but I cant understand it, i thought it was my imagination, but its not.... its like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... again and again.... my sister was talking to me when i heard that, but i point my fingers to her saying shut up for a while... she then stop talking, uncle and ate marie was crying.... i dont know what to do... then after 40 min. they start the prayer for my grandmother soul(for safe journey ). my sister grace was crying while shes praying, i couldn't help it all I can do is to cry also, so I cry...then the sun is rising... its already4:30 am.. ate grace told me to go to kuya ericks house and also to ate tina... so I obeyed it... we took a pedicab, and told where were going...when we finally arrive kuya was still asleep and also ate che(her wife) and roem(their son)...

Me: kuya wala na si lola

kuya erick: ano? sino? with a sleepy voice...

kuya cocoy: si lola suping patay na..

ate che was speaking but kuya erick didnt listen... kuya was shocked he dont know what to say...

Me: punta na lang daw kayo sa bahay....

Kuya erick: o sige sunod na lang lami...

then when we go home their askung me if im going to class...

Ate swit: papasok ka ba? may importante ba kayong gagawin? wag ka na munang pumasok kung wala naman...

im delight im now going to class...

me: wala naman(my alibi)..

after many hour past, visitors starts coming, some sleep in the house so we dont have a place to sleep, me and ate mayeths room are occupied so we decided to not sleep until morning....

feb. 13 2009

i was on cavite it was fun but so boring i guess...
we do movie trip, food trip and then again my wide and weird imaginations came up with another story "Love Denial". in my thoughts the story is about a company president and a hotel crew...

Narcissus Ullysis Alvida, a former company president whos life is always in success...
he was living alone in his big house in Los Angeles, he is also the owner of one the biggest hotel in L.A; The Avida Hotel... little did he know that his life will change when he met Janine the Chef in the Alvida Hotel... Narcissus dont really like commitment casue he is the man without passion for love he only put his attention to the job... on a one incident, the two met in the hotels elevator... Janine didnt know that the one that he met in the elevator is also the the owner of it... When janine enter the door, Narcissus heart trembles... his hands starts sweating, he feels that his turning red... Janine and Narcissus eyes met, Narcissus dint know what to do, but to keep stare at Janine. He was about to introduce hisself to Janine, but the elevetors door open "TING". Janine get out of the elevator...Narcissus didnt had the chance to introduce hisself to janine. then after a while, he keep thinking and thinking of the girl that she saw in the elevator. Janines face reminisced in Narcissus mind...

and thats the start of my craziness again...

Feb 11 , 2009

was a tiring and yet sad day...

our field demo ended up as a disaster, it didn't quite work well said the teacher...
sad cause White has a boyfriend " Horse"... sana kung mabasa ni white to wag sya magalit...

i had my own personal reason why Im angry on his boyfriend...

again tiring SBM chase me... but i didnt wear our uniform so the running went well...
after a long hide and seek with the SBM i finally went out of their sight... yeeepeee...

this day is one of the most disaster day of my life.....

TIRING......URGGGGG........

today was really tiring....peach is out of sight, all i can see is those people who i dont wanna see....

tiring yet happy

proud yet over whelmed

field demo was a total wreck, but its not that hard to focus cause peach isn't around so im not shy to dance.....

proud and over whelmed cause i recieve a gold medal for the story writing contest the MONSIUER VINCENT....

you know what I didn't expect that award, when I'm in the AVR being with Peach is the award I actually dream....I dont need any award, she is the most precious award I mught recieve(in my dreams)....

then i treat my friend...Jessah and White and hazel...

jessah told me...

"bakit ba laging may White na kasama?"
"bakit best friend mo naman sya ah"
"kahit na noh"
"edi tawagin mo na lang si peach, o si cold o si cake"
"di ko sila kailangan"
"pwes ako kailangan ko sila"

and thats our texting conversation....

then the awarding...

I didnt really expect of any awards...
i was behind the stage at that time, my classmate wycoco said

"Say may award ka...."

hes not really sure of what kind of award was that...

"Ano?"

"Oo nga nakita ko name mo dun ewan ko lang kung ano speech choir..??" he answered puzzled

i was confused....i didnt join any speech choir, i know im not the director of the speech choir cause im the director of the interpretative reading....

then Edwin came...

"say wag kang aalis jan ha"

i didnt know why, i was drinking when the teachers on stahe caled me...

" for the high school level...2nd place Lindsay Pauline C. Queri..."

i was shocked i kinda choke,i dont want to go to the stage, im so shy but I have to....

the teacher put the medal around my neck and give me a hand shake.... and thats all...

Jan 26, 2009...

a kilig moment again...

sarap palang mag participate sa activity paminsan maisan.....

whoooooooo.....

it was our filipino class... napagalitan pa nga ako, akala ni sir natutulog ako, pero ang totoo, ang sakit ng tummy ko...DI KO GUSTONG MAGCR....di rin ako nagugutom....basta bigla lang parang tinutusok ng karayom....

tapos yun na nga biglang may dumating unexpectedly....

its peach....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

pot, lorraine, charise and eirin was shouting....look its peach lindsay...

peach,,,, lindsay oh....

I kinda blush...

I was shocked when she mentioned my name..

sir nandyan poh ba ito.?
QUERI....! sabi ni sir...

i was shocked and my friends are happy...when i came out of the room, i was in panic...cause I took off my shoes for a while...

then i saw her cousin

(at least I have someone to talk to....)

but then we watch a movie about our patron saint...

MONSIUER VINCENT...

i didnt understand the movie, cause the whole time im staring at her...

her cousin Jade knows i have a crush on her... but she didnt tell anything about it to Peach...

so my secrets are still safe...

but not for long....